on having another baby

I know. I have a three month old. Why on earth am I writing a post about having another baby? Because it's something that I think often about. Before we got pregnant, I wanted three kids and he wanted two. We figured we would have one, and take it from there.

And the truth is, now I'm thinking we are not going to have another baby. As in, ever. We might really be "one and done". Gracie might really be an only child. And I'm torn on how I feel about that.

In all honesty -- I was not someone who loved being pregnant (this is no secret). And then I was in labor for 58 hours. And then she screamed for five weeks straight. And then there are times when I can't do it alone. When I need an extra set of hands. Or three.

Sometimes it takes the two of us to handle one baby. There are the moments we look at each other and say "can you imagine doing this with a toddler running around? and the dog barking like crazy? and on four hours of sleep?" and I look at my husband and say: "No, no I can't. "

And then I feel guilty.

People think I'm nuts when I say we probably aren't having any more. That I'll change my mind. That she just "can't" be an only child (really? why not?).

 

But in all honesty, from the moment they placed her on my stomach, I felt that our family was complete. She has been such an amazing gift and has changed our lives in ways I didn't even think was possible.

And we are SO happy. Yes, we are still adjusting. But it's been a hard adjustment for us, and I don't know that we could go through it all over again. And I think that's okay. I think it's okay that this is what works for OUR family.

Our little family of three. 

Mamas, weigh in ... anyone else feeling like this? Or did you used to feel like this and then changed your mind?