Day 16

I'm so excited and proud to be half-way through the month -- this has been such a fun challenge, and I'm loving every day :)

Today's topic: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it

I don't want to get too-too deep today, so I will keep this as short as I can. Maybe one day I'll have the courage to talk about it more openly.

I don't have much of a relationship with my parents. You'll notice I talk about my grandparents more, and that's because my grandparents are the ones I consider myself to be the closest with.

My parents are alive, and pop in and out of my life from time to time. My parents have only met my husband a handful of times, and they were not involved in our wedding.  They have never met any of Keith's family. And in fact, up until my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer, I hadn't spoken to my parents in over 8 months.

My parents and I are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to religion. The religion that they raised me in, is not the one I felt was right for me and I left it when I was 21. After meeting Keith, I became Catholic, and we found a church that we absolutely love and were married in. My parents couldn't support or accept the fact that I had chosen a different religious path and its put a huge damper on our relationship. They don't celebrate birthdays or holidays and those are major family-events for me. It's been hard to figure out how I'm going to explain all this to our kids -- why my parents aren't at birthdays or there on Christmas morning.

It wasn't until I went to Hawaii in March to spend some time with my grandmother, that she really helped me gain some perspective. My grandmother has also been struggling with her relationship with my mom, since my grandma is Catholic as well. (Are you lost yet??) But my grandma, being the wise woman that she is, gave me the best advice.

"You have to learn to accept your parents for who they are. Accept what they CAN give, and stop focusing on what they don't. You have to show them that you can have a mutual respect for each other, have a wonderful relationship and be involved in their lives."

She then begged me to reach out to my parents and try again. I hadreached the point of learning to be okay without them, but I realized she was right. Wouldn't it be better to have some sort of relationship with my parents, then none at all? Could it be possible for us to learn how to peacefully put our differences aside?

As you all know, my grandmother is my person. So when she asks me to do something, no matter how difficult, I do it. I prayed a lot about the situation, and asked God to open my heart to healing -- and open theirs to being receptive to me.

That was about two months ago, and I am happy to say that we have made good progress. My parents were the first ones (out of anyone in our lives!) to come and see our new house. They helped us move in, unpack and get settled. And as I've mentioned in a previous post, my dad is building us a dining room table!

I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm sure they'll disappear again at some point, but I can't give up on them, on our relationship. They are my parents, my family, and at one point -- my everything.

Phew.

That was alot longer than I intended it to be -- but there ya go. My honesty for the day :)