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Letting Go. Day 30.

30 May 2013

Today's topic for Blog Every Day In May is Letting Go.

Letting go has meant many different things to me over the course of time, some small and some big. Letting go of a dream, a friend, an idea, a disagreement. Letting go means living free. Holding on to things we shouldn't, just brings us down, causes us stress. And really, who needs that kind of negativity? Part of growing up, means learning to know when the right time is to let go of something or someone. But how often do we emotionally let go of something, even once it's physically gone from our lives? That takes time, and patience and faith that you are heading in the right direction.

Right now I need to let go of my desire to move somewhere else. I want so badly to live in Texas, Phoenix, North Carolina .... I have this burning desire to explore a new city, make new friends and fill our time with new experiences. Is it realistic? Probably not. Actually, really not. We just bought a new house and have great, stable, (fulfilling?) jobs. It isn't practical to uproot and move somewhere just because I want to. And so instead of sitting here, wishing and dreaming of a different kind of life, I need to let.it.go. And embrace the beautiful life that we have, right here.

This weekend marks exactly one year since my life changed and I lost several friendships. It's taken me a whole year to really come to terms with it. I've gone through all the stages of loss -- and have finally reached acceptance. And so, today, I am letting it go. Forever. What's done can't be undone. And I can no longer beat myself up over the mistakes that were made. Or wonder if they feel the same. So instead of sitting here and wishing I could change the past or go back in time, I'm focusing on moving forward. I'm blessed with amazing friendships and those are the friendships that I need to throw myself into, and focus on keeping strong. I am officially saying goodbye and letting go.

Phew. Feels kinda good to get all that off my chest.

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